I used to criticize music because I thought it was an admirable pursuit. Now with my can of poison I’m going for music lice. If you hiss in tongues you wouldn’t dare in person, I’m gaming for you. If you fling opinions in the third person, you’re on my list. If you breathe hyphens and poop parentheses, I’m going to make fun of you for it. And if you treat music like something to stamp, I’m going to shoot my disagreement at you…hard.
Time’s nigh, folks. It’s open season on your asses.
Hahaha! Still making me laugh: “Synth pop and outlandish costumes in pop music? Wow, that’s certainly a frightening new development. Have rock bands also started playing guitars and singing into microphones in 2010?”
Thanks for popping by my blog! Good times Matt! xxx
I love you. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who sees Pitchfork as failed English majors posing as music critics. They use words to describe music about as effectively as I use farts to describe dinner.
Why music critics and not film critics, book reviewers or restaurant critics? Don’t the hard-working artisans behind Hollywood and the food industry deserve vengeance as well? Speaking as a musician myself, I’m pretty sure a chef or highly-acclaimed author works harder than I do…
Why music critics and not film critics, book reviewers or restaurant critics? Don’t the hard-working artisans behind Hollywood and the food industry deserve vengeance as well? Speaking as a musician myself, I’m pretty sure a chef or highly-acclaimed author works harder than I do…
+1
Check out Larry Fitzmaurice’s review of Born Ruffians new album! I think you’ll find he has missed the point and lost the plot. Not to mention the whole thing seems a very personal attack on Luke Lalonde (perhaps he has offended Larry in some way).
I don’t know about the lice metaphor, since critics help create awareness for artists and do things like vote on juries that award prizes and money to them. Many of them also work for labels and promotion companies that deal directly with the artists. They are but once facet of a complex industry, and they do a lot more than just poop and reproduce. Plus, many artists themselves are/were critics [i.e. Cadence Weapon used to write for Pitchfork, your fave target]. The world, or at least this business, is not so black and white.
However, this is a big improvement over your former “kick nads” mission statement, so there’s that. I’m still hoping you’ll attempt to legitimize this site in the future, and present it in a proactive [i.e. the promotion of thoughtful criticism] and well-meaning/selfless light rather than reactionary and spiteful. You’ve got to be careful not to “hiss in tongues you wouldn’t dare in person” yourself, or it undermines the whole thing.
My name is Matt Wendus. I’m a critic.
Jared Bier's Review of "Depart from Me" by Cage
Jonathan Dean's Review of "///Y/" by M.I.A.
Daniel Yates' Review of "Disconnect from Desire" by School of Seven Bells
Jakob Dorof's Review of "Topp Stemning Pa Lokal Bar" by Casiokids
Jayson Greene's Review of "Recovery" by Eminem
John Calvert's Review of "Nonstop " by Black Francis
Pingback: Matt Wendus loses stare-out contest with the void « Ich Lüge Bullets
#1 by Francesca Ronai on February 1, 2010 - 9:34 am
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Hahaha! Still making me laugh: “Synth pop and outlandish costumes in pop music? Wow, that’s certainly a frightening new development. Have rock bands also started playing guitars and singing into microphones in 2010?”
Thanks for popping by my blog! Good times Matt! xxx
#2 by Alex on February 8, 2010 - 10:02 pm
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I love you. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who sees Pitchfork as failed English majors posing as music critics. They use words to describe music about as effectively as I use farts to describe dinner.
#3 by Frank Church on March 3, 2010 - 8:41 pm
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You never rip major critics like Chuck Eddy or Robert Christgau.
#4 by Matt Wendus on March 3, 2010 - 8:52 pm
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Kicking old man nads isn’t as fun.
#5 by zen koan on March 13, 2010 - 1:17 pm
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Why music critics and not film critics, book reviewers or restaurant critics? Don’t the hard-working artisans behind Hollywood and the food industry deserve vengeance as well? Speaking as a musician myself, I’m pretty sure a chef or highly-acclaimed author works harder than I do…
#6 by Matt Wendus on March 13, 2010 - 1:38 pm
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I don’t watch movies, read books, or eat food.
#7 by Austin on April 28, 2010 - 7:31 pm
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Hey Matt—
As a novice non-professional music writer that is disillusioned for some of the same reasons, I love your idea here.
I was wondering how you find the things you decide to ‘rip’? Just by looking around yourself, or do you have friends point things out to you?
~Austin
#8 by Matt Wendus on April 28, 2010 - 8:41 pm
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If folks send me links to nuggets, I smelt them, but usually mine alone.
#9 by Mark on May 9, 2010 - 12:30 pm
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Why music critics and not film critics, book reviewers or restaurant critics? Don’t the hard-working artisans behind Hollywood and the food industry deserve vengeance as well? Speaking as a musician myself, I’m pretty sure a chef or highly-acclaimed author works harder than I do…
+1
#10 by Lauren on June 3, 2010 - 4:13 pm
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Check out Larry Fitzmaurice’s review of Born Ruffians new album! I think you’ll find he has missed the point and lost the plot. Not to mention the whole thing seems a very personal attack on Luke Lalonde (perhaps he has offended Larry in some way).
#11 by Carol on June 7, 2010 - 1:24 pm
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Thx for the street-theater support for responsible reproductive choices on Saturday! A real rip for anti-choice protests.
#12 by Alan Ranta on June 23, 2010 - 3:27 pm
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I don’t know about the lice metaphor, since critics help create awareness for artists and do things like vote on juries that award prizes and money to them. Many of them also work for labels and promotion companies that deal directly with the artists. They are but once facet of a complex industry, and they do a lot more than just poop and reproduce. Plus, many artists themselves are/were critics [i.e. Cadence Weapon used to write for Pitchfork, your fave target]. The world, or at least this business, is not so black and white.
However, this is a big improvement over your former “kick nads” mission statement, so there’s that. I’m still hoping you’ll attempt to legitimize this site in the future, and present it in a proactive [i.e. the promotion of thoughtful criticism] and well-meaning/selfless light rather than reactionary and spiteful. You’ve got to be careful not to “hiss in tongues you wouldn’t dare in person” yourself, or it undermines the whole thing.