Artist: To Rococo Rot

Album: Speculation

Reviewer: Patrick Sisson

Pitchfork, 2010

Writing Disorders: Ambiguity Sickness








Clumsiest Phrase: “neither over-intellectualizing nor over-sentimentalizing”




Patrick, how long did you spend writing this review? 30 minutes? 45? Did you actually listen to the whole album or did you just skim a couple tracks so you could catch “Goldberg” and still type something out before your deadline? You might as well have just written two words and been done. “It’s looser.”

You see, Patrick, by virtue of my time as a music louse, I know when a review’s half-assed. There were times when procrastination left only the night before a deadline to listen to a band’s work of art and write something about it. Then the BS would start flowing to fill the cracks. You know what I’m talking about. There’s enough go-to music jargon in your review to fill a reference manual. Ahem…

“a sense of immediacy”

“plenty of propulsion and muscle”

“growing sense of looseness”

“an organic element”

“a real sense of play and exploration”

I’m starting to think “sense of immediacy” is the equivalent of “um” in music writing, while “sense of urgency” is “uh”. Since I still don’t know what the hell it really means, I’ve opened up the topic for discussion on the RipFork Facebook page. Feel free to add your input, Patrick. Going back to your jargon though, here’s my favorite bit of insulation:

“they know how to finesse electronic timbres and human melodies, neither over-intellectualizing nor over-sentimentalizing their songs”

That’s a pretty blanket statement, Patrick. Think maybe you could have provided us a frame of reference by naming a couple of guilty musical peers, some lyrics, or even a definition of what “over-intellectualizing” would be? Right now I’m picturing this band as somewhere between Neutral Milk Hotel and Meat Loaf. Is that pretty close to the mark or should I go with The Decemberists and Bryan Adams?

Before you get to asking why I can’t be less willfully retarded, rest assured that some of your points just don’t make sense:

“To Rococo Rot’s skill lies in making electronic-infused post-rock engaging where most other bands fiddling with sculpted synths and cyclic bass lines settle for crafting something tasteful.”

I don’t get it. Does To Rococo Rot make music about exploding monkey dicks while others “settle” for songs about quiet tea parties and afternoon croquet? I don’t understand how “tasteful” and “engaging” are mutually exclusive like you’re suggesting here. Mr. Phil Collins has handily proven time and again that a musician can make music both tasteful AND engaging. I think you’ve got your antonyms mixed up.

At least your lazy review was short, Patrick, so I’m going to wrap this up in honor of that momentous achievement. But I will say in closing that if you need any further evidence pointing to a rush job; just remember you wrote the word “fiddling” twice.