Link to Zach Kelly's Review of I Told You I Was Freaky by Flight of the ConchordsArtist: Flight of the Conchords

Album: I Told You I Was Freaky

Reviewer: Zach Kelly

Pitchfork, 2009

Writing Disorders: Jargon Palsy







Longest Sentence: 65 words (2nd sentence)

Biggest WTF Moment: “Kiwi hipster-doofus schtick”

Most Emo Phrase: “It might be a lot to ask, but hopefully one day our heroes might get around to recording a comedy album proper, show or no show.”




Hi Zach. Nice to meet you let’s get started. The review opens:

“Protest if you must, but the…”

I PROTEST! I PROTEST! ME!

Lesson number one: “Protest if you must” is something that rapists and debaters in audio format say. And that ain’t such a great way to start off an essay, Zach.

Next sentence begins:

“Fair may it be to argue”

What the hell is this? Lancelot’s backyard barbeque? Jesus man, just write “it’s fair to say.”

“it’s difficult to fully enjoy something that so critically hinges on external specifics”

So you’re saying it’s still possible to enjoy…whatever it is you just described. But you didn’t fully enjoy it. So…why aren’t you enjoying it? Didn’t put in enough effort? Are you lazy? Are you a pothead, Focker?

This is how you end the thing:

“the separation anxiety that Freaky induces is its unfortunate undoing”

I’m gonna wander out on a hunch here and say that you’re bullshitting here, Zach. I think you loved this album, but you were afraid that liking it too much in public would make you look too inclined towards musical theater. Hence the 6.7 rating and pulling this “unfortunate undoing” out of the hat. But hell, I don’t know. Maybe it really was only a 2/3 effort by these two fellows.

Or maybe you have feelings you’re uncomfortable with.

I’m gonna end on one of your notes, Zach.

“It’s no joke that there’s real talent at work here”