Link to Marc Hogan's Review of Sing Along to Songs You Don't Know by MumAlbum: Mum

Album: Sing Along to Songs You Don’t Know

Reviewer: Marc Hogan

Pitchfork, 2009

Writing Disorders: Ambiguity Sickness, Jargon Palsy







Longest Sentence: 66 Words

Biggest WTF Moment: “It’d almost definitely be making a geyser out of a lyrical plankton-fart to observe that the world’s most famous carpenter also happened to be the world’s most famous recruiter of fishermen.”

Most Emo Phrase: naïve-folk ramshackle wispiness




Marc, this review was dense. Hard to read. Heavy on the adjectives. You don’t start off well.

“But uhh, few bands outside 1980s bedsit-indie circles would be better suited to rep the Beatitudes’ “blessed are the meek” rap than Múm.”

Jesus, Dennis Miller, what the HELL are you talking about? I feel like I need a sextant just to read your review. I’m sure you would disagree, but “easy to understand” isn’t such a horrible thing in writing.

Now Marc, come over here. I’m tempted to nickname you Mr. Indecision.

“Mum’s fifth album starts off kind of like…”

“it’s a bit of a slog on a purely musical level”

“it’d almost definitely be making”

“it’s enough to make me half-wonder”

Look man, get off the fence and have an opinion. If you feel like you can’t form one, then listen to the album again. Or once more after that. After all, the band put in all the effort. All you have to do is type an opinion of it. The least you can do is be sure of what’s going on inside your own head before pissing your pants on second.

Or if you’re unsure of what you think, maybe you could just leave out the 30-word metaphors so that people who don’t read Joyce can understand what you’re getting at.

“You might hear a music box being wound up, or an acoustic guitar string buzzing imperfectly, or what seems to be a didgeridoo.”

Hahaha, “what seems to be.” Come on man, it’s clear you know EXACTLY what a didgeridoo sounds like.

“it’s an entirely peaceful, largely melancholy, and clearly well-meaning record”

What’s a “well-meaning record?” Is it a record that isn’t meant to incite looting, rape, and sin? Or is it a record that the band sincerely didn’t intend, but just couldn’t avoid making? One that you, 1/6 billionth of the globe, didn’t particularly care for?

And…my final burning question. What made you give this album a 3.9 instead of a 4? Maybe if that didgeridoo sounded a smidgen more like a didgeridoo?